


Just Communication

by amaronith



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Minor Fjord/Caleb Widogast, Spoilers for c2e72
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 17:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20011756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaronith/pseuds/amaronith
Summary: Three conversations.





	Just Communication

**Author's Note:**

> Happy BeauJes Week! This is for Day 3's prompt of "Love Confessions", so of course I am rolling in 15 minutes late with a large coffee in hand.
> 
> Thanks especially to GrannyBoo, Agent Buzzkill, and wytch-lyghts for the help with this!

Jester chewed on her lip, twisting her fingers together nervously as her tail coiled anxiously behind her.

"Hey Fjord? Can I talk to you about something?"

"Of course, Jester," Fjord said in his new-old voice. "What is it?"

(She remembered first meeting him, back in Port Damali, how he had seen her using her magic and inquired, soft and polite. She remembered, when they were leaving, his choice to use the voice of his thought-to-be-dead mentor, how his whole demeanor had shifted just so - but it had never clicked for her that it was fake for him. It would've made for an excellent prank if it wasn't so tragic when she thought about it too hard.)

"Can we talk? I'm… confused. About stuff."

He immediately shifted to make room for her next to him. "What are you confused about?"

"Me."

He tilted his head, frowning at her. "You're confused about you? And you want to talk to me about this?"

"Nott gets… weird. About relationship stuff."

"So this about you and relationship stuff? I reiterate - you want to talk to me about this? If Nott would be 'weird', why not Beau? She is sure of who she is-"

Jester felt tears welling up in her eyes. "Fjord, you're the first friend I had outside of the Traveller!"

Fjord lifted his hands in a motion of surrender. "I just don't want to give you bad advice, Jester, that's all. I've spent most of the time you've known me pretending to be someone else, you know."

"I know. But you're still _Fjord_."

He nodded then sat up straighter. "All right then, my dear. What's the problem?"

"I… you know how I had that, like, really _really_ big crush on you?"

"...yes."

"I don't think I was crushing on _you_ you. I think you were just, like, a kind of stand-in, I think? Because you're handsome and charming and really cool and basically everything I read a man should be like. So I told myself that I liked you that way."

"Just to clarify, you aren't attracted to me anymore?"

"I mean. A little bit? You're still objectively very handsome, Fjord. But it doesn't, you know, get me excited, sexually. Which was the problem? Like, the more you didn't do anything for me, the more I told myself I liked you, because I was _supposed_ to like you. You were my hero! The hero gets the girl, in the end! That's the way it works in stories!"

"Life is not a story, Jester," Fjord said, his voice soft and regretful.

"And… and I am pretty sure you don't like me that way, anyway."

"I'm sorry. It was cowardly of me not to say anything to you."

Jester nodded. "Yes. It was. Because I thought I was doing all the right things-"

"But we're not a story, you and I. At least, not a romantic one. Because you're my friend, Jester. I am honored to count you as such, because… well, you're _my_ best friend, Jester. My very first friend. I didn't want to lose that by rejecting your feelings outright. Can you imagine what would've happened to us if I lied to you about it? If we were both trapped in a relationship, pretending to feel things we didn't feel?"

Jester sniffled. "It was still a dick move to lead me on."

"I'm sorry."

"And. What does that mean for me now, when I am pretty sure-" Jester hiccuped, tears she couldn't control rolling down her cheeks. "I think I like girls."

Fjord wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. "Hey - listen to me. There is nothing wrong with liking girls."

"I like _Beau_."

"Beau is a lovely person. A bit of an arse at times-" Jester giggled wetly. "-but she's a good person. You could do far worse than having a crush on Beau."

"But Beau likes Yasha!"

A ripple passed over Fjord's face at the mention of their missing friend, but he gave himself a shake before pressing on. "Beau wants Yasha to bang her like an unlatched shutter in a hurricane and then walk away in the morning, and Yasha, from what I gathered, is still not over her dead wife. Beau's infatuation with Yasha is not a barrier here."

"But what if Beau doesn't like me like that? What if I confess to Beau and she rejects me and then our friendship is ruined and she and I can't be roommates anymore because I made it weird?!"

Fjord gripped her shoulders and turned her to face him fully. "Jester Lavorre, you listen to me: you have to have faith that it's going to work out."

Jester rubbed at her cheeks. "But-"

"If she makes it weird, she is not the person we thought she was and therefore is obviously unworthy of your affections."

"But I don't _want_ her to be!"

"But you are just sailing in circles like this, little bird." Fjord rubbed his thumbs under her eyes gently. "My darling bluebird, you just need to tell her if it's eating you up like this."

"...you never called me bluebird before."

"Yes, well. I have a lot of nicknames for you all that I never used because that's not how Vandren was. Therefore it was not how _I_ was. Does that make sense?"

"I like it. I can't wait to find out the others."

Fjord flushed and kissed her forehead. "Did I help at all?"

"...I don't know. 'Take a leap of faith and tell her' isn't what I wanted to hear, I guess."

"I mean, if you want to just wallow in pining misery, you wouldn't be _alone_ , necessarily, but that doesn't really… seem like a good time for you."

Jester frowned. "Wait. Fjord - you like someone?" She gasped, covering her mouth with both her hands. "Oh my gosh, is it _Nott_?! Are you pining for a _married woman?!_ "

" _No!_ It's not Nott!"

"But you two have that whole antagonizing thing!"

"She's more like my kid sister than anything, Jester."

"Is it Caduceus? You two have been getting puh- _retty_ chummy with all the Wildmother stuff..." Jester grinned at him as Fjord flushed darker.

"No! Not that Caduceus isn't a handsome fellow-" Fjord rubbed nervously at his right hand, and something _clicked_ in Jester's brain. "We were talking about-"

"Oh my gosh, it's Caleb! You like _Caleb!_ "

Fjord lunged forward and covered her mouth with his hand as he shushed her. "Not so loud, damn it Jester!"

Jester's tail was lashing excitedly behind her. "I bet you've liked Caleb _the whole time_ we've known him!"

"Jester, please-"

"You two would be super cute together, I bet."

"Jess-"

"And we're getting you that sword fixed-" Jester gasped and clasped Fjord's hands in hers. "You could take an Oath to the Wildmother and be a Paladin in her service and become Caleb's _knight in shining armor_!"

"How about I make you a deal - if you tell Beau about your feelings, I'll tell Caleb about mine."

Jester narrowed her eyes at him. "That is cruel, Fjord."

"Do we have a deal or not?"

Jester looked down at their hands. "Tonight, then, we tell them. And tomorrow you have to tell me how it went and if he kisses you. And I'll do the same with how it goes with Beau."

"Deal."

They shook on it, their hands clasped together before Jester let them drop. "...hey Fjord?"

"Hm?"

"We're never gonna stop being friends, right?"

Fjord smiled at her softly. "Jester Lavorre, you have my friendship until the end of time itself."

Jester hugged him tightly before getting to her feet. "I'm gonna go wait for Beau in our room - g'night Fjord! Don't forget our deal!"

"I won't. Good night, Jester."

\---

Beau watched Jester hug Fjord and bounce up the steps, her heart heavy in her chest, before she got two drinks from the bartender and walked over to where Fjord sat, sitting across the table from him. "Hey."

Fjord jolted in his seat, hand moving reflexively to summon a sword that wouldn't come. "Damn it, Beauregard, you startled me!"

"Sorry," she said, not sorry at all as she passed him a mug of ale. "Looked like congratulations are in order?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"You and Jester. Finally getting together?"

A pained look crossed Fjord's face for a moment. "Ah, no. We decided we're better off as just being friends. Which is a good thing, given my preference for men."

Beau's thoughts screeched to a halt.

"But Avantika?"

"Vandren liked women. I like women just fine, too, but. I prefer male bed partners." Fjord took a long drink from his tankard as Beau watched him.

"... that's kinda fucked up, man."

"I'm _aware_ , Beauregard," Fjord said, his voice frosty, and Beau wrinkled her nose.

"Ugh. Don't do that, you sound like Caleb when you do that."

"I should be so lucky. Caleb probably wouldn't have gotten himself into the mess I'm in."

_No, he just had a psychotic break and was catatonic for eleven years,_ Beau thought, sipping her own ale. "You'd be surprised." She kicked gently at Fjord's ankle. "Hey."

" _Ow_ , yes, hello, we've established that." He frowned at her before reaching out and touching his fingertips gently to her wrist. He had been much more tactile since he dropped the fake accent. Beau didn't hate it. "Is something the matter?"

"Just. You sure that you and Jester cleared the air?"

Fjord nodded, watching her cautiously. "Yes, I'm sure. Tears on both sides, but not for the reasons you might think."

Beau took a deep breath. "Can I ask you something?"

"You've been doing nothing but asking me questions, Beau," he pointed out, affectionate. "But tell me what's on your mind?"

"...you know how my usual thing with girls is hit it and quit it?"

"And apparently leave a trail of broken hearts in your wake, if Keg is anything to go by, yes."

"What if I... didn't do that?"

Fjord's eyebrows shot up. "All right?"

"It's just-" Beau drained her tankard, her free hand grabbing at Fjord's. "There's this girl, right? And she's so amazing and strong and beautiful and, like, an amazing person? And she makes me wanna be better than I am? I mean, I've been working on that-"

Fjord gave her hand a squeeze. "I know, you've been doing really well, I'm proud of you."

Beau gave him a tiny smile. "I've been doing that _for me_ , but she makes me wanna do it _more_ , you know? And, you know, girl like that, you should hang onto, right? Like, a girl worth fighting for?"

Fjord nodded. "So what's the trouble?"

"She doesn't like girls."

Fjord gave her a flat look. "Are you sure about that?"

"Pretty sure? She's always going on about this guy-"

"Beau. We both know you're talking about Jester, so let's drop the obfuscation, shall we?"

Beau wrinkled her nose at Fjord, annoyed. "What gave it away?"

"You gave up on Yasha ages ago and Nott's married. Besides you think Nott and Yeza are the cutest thing ever."

Beau _had_ cried a little when they rescued him from the prison. And again when they reunited Yeza and Nott with Luc. Like, two tears total, but still. It was moving as fuck.

"Whatever. What do I do?"

"I think you should talk to Jester about your feelings."

"What? Come on, dude - you're practically the king of functional pining, you've got to have more for me than that!"

Fjord sat up straighter, bristling like an offended cat. "Excuse me?"

"I've got _eyes_ , dude, I've seen how you look at Caleb. You've had a thing for him this long and never said anything, I figured you had more substantial advice for me!"

"You could always base your entire personality around a straight man you admired only to come to realize he never thought of you as anything but another crewman," Fjord said tartly. "I found that really helped with my 'functional pining' as you called it."

Beau winced. "Ow. Okay. Sorry…"

Fjord took a long sip of ale. "Don't - my choices are not your fault. How about I make you a deal? You tell Jester how you feel - tonight! - and I'll tell Caleb about my own feelings."

"And if I don't?"

Fjord fixed her with a look. "I'll be disappointed in you."

Beau scowled at him. "You've been hanging out with Cad too much."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"What if _you_ don't do it?"

"I'll leave that up to you. Do we have a deal?"

Beau nodded and gripped his hand. "Deal." She squeezed tighter, grinning. "Caleb's in the sitting room in front of the fire."

Fjord flinched. " _Thank you, Beauregard._ "

She let go of his hand and stood up. "I'm gonna go talk to Jester. G'night."

"Good night, Beau."

\---

Beau made her way upstairs but not before she watched Fjord drain his tankard and walk over to Caleb. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but once she saw Fjord sit next to Caleb, she finished walking up the stairs and headed towards her and Jester's room.

"Hey, Jes-" Beau started, walking into the room and freezing in place as the door shut behind her.

Jester had stripped down to the thin chemise she wore under her dress, but it wasn't one that Beau has seen before, the silky fabric riding high on Jester's thighs and clinging to the swell of her breasts.

_She must've gotten a new one in Nicodranis,_ Beau thought distantly, as she took in the way the delicate silk-and-lace garment only served to highlight the strength in Jester's arms and shoulders.

"Oh! Hey Beau!" Jester's tail was a tight, anxious coil, and Beau forced herself to pay attention to that, rather than the delicate skin of Jester's inner thigh that peeked through the flowery lace that Beau's fingers itched to touch. Jester's state of upset was more important that Beau's stupid feelings.

"Hey. Are you okay? I saw you talking with Fjord…"

"Yeah, we were just reconnecting as friends, you know? Like, we needed the check in with each other. And he, ah, helped me figure out some stuff, you know?"

Beau smiled at her - she couldn't help it. "Yeah, he's good at that. He helped me figure out some stuff tonight, too."

"Really?"

"Mmhm."

Jester licked her lips nervously. "Um, hey Beau? Can I, um. You and me, we're friends, yeah?"

Beau frowned. "Of course. Have I done something to make you feel like we're not friends?"

" _No!_ " Jester shook her head violently, sending her horn chain jingling. "No, nothing like that. I. Um. I just like you a lot."

Beau's heart did some impressive acrobatics in her chest, feeling full of fondness for her friend and roommate while at the same time squeezing painfully that Jester didn't mean those words the way Beau wanted her to, and Beau was about to ruin the best friendship she had ever had. "I like you a lot, too, Jessie."

Jester gave her a sweet, awkward smile and Beau had never wanted to kiss someone so badly in her life. "I don't think I'm very good at this, Beau."

"Not good at what?"

"You know how I always ask if you're secretly in love with me?"

Did she fucking _ever_. "Yeah? What about it?"

"Beau, I'm in love with you."

Beau blinked at her, blood pounding too loud in her ears as she stared. "I'm - could you say that again, I don't think I heard you right?"

Jester's tail was practically tying itself in knots. "I'm in love with you. I'm sorry please don't stop being my friend-!!"

Beau was at Jester's side in an instant, hugging her tightly. "Shh, Jess, stop. It's okay. It's _more_ than okay."

Jester clung to her, her face buried in Beau's throat as she angled her horns just so to avoid stabbing Beau in the face. "I'm sorry, Beau."

"Okay, first of all, do _not_ apologize to me for being in love with me, that is weird." She pulled back to tip Jester's face up to hers. "Especially when I feel the same way about you."

Violet eyes glittered in the low candle light as Jester looked up at her, wide eyed and stunned. "Beau?"

"I'm in love with you, too."

Jester kissed her, clumsy and sweet as she practically climbed into Beau's lap. "Oh thank god - I was so worried I'd ruin everything but Fjord said I had to take a leap of faith and we made a deal and-"

Wait.

"Hey Jessie?"

"Yeah?"

Beau had her hands on Jester's thighs - just to keep her steady, really - and had dipped her thumbs under the lace edging of the hem. "What kind of deal?"

"Oh! Um, if I told you my feelings for you, he had to tell Caleb about his feelings."

"....oh that _motherfucker_. He made the same deal with me, after I saw you go upstairs."

Jester grinned. "Well, we win anyway, I think, so it all works out."

Beau slid her hands up higher on Jester's thighs, grinning at the little shiver it got her. "Hey Jessie?"

"Yes, Beau?"

Beau kissed her, because she could, because she was _allowed_ , and revelled in the soft, little noises Jester made into it. "How about we go to bed, hm?"

Jester grinned at her, face flushed and lips kiss-swollen. "Wanna push the beds together?"

Beau grinned. "Oh?"

"Maximum cuddle room! And, you know, space for other stuff, too, if you wanna do that right away, because I kind of want to but only if you want to too-"

Beau kissed her. "You push this one, I'll get the other one, and we'll meet in the middle?"

"Hell yeah!"

Beau grinned to herself as they moved to set up their new sleeping arrangements, her heart feeling lighter than it had in a long, long time.

**Author's Note:**

> I may eventually write the Widofjord POV of this fic, but don't hold me to it.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Keep Talking](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20228794) by [amaronith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amaronith/pseuds/amaronith)




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